sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
