He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
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