Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
