it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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