i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
