you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
