You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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