ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I would ride that face into the sunset
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
