I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
