Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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