He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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