Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
