At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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