dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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