If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
