dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
