Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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