I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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