Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
