can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
