All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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