then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
