He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
