Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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