so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
