The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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