So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
