man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Let's get the cat blown out
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
