i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
