Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
oh god the rape fog is back!
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
