he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
