you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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