You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
