im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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