I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm really into asian looking animals
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
