I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
