If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
