Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
