you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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