I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
