You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
