my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
