no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
