Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
