I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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