He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
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