I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
