he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
