worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
