We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
