Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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