I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I didn't notice because vodka
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
