Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
