Fuck appropriateness.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
